so lately i've been very unhappy.

but i can't seem to put my finger on what it is that's missing.

work is fine. hectic, but fine.

school...i don't even wanna talk about it.

me & the boy... i've never been more in love.

but i feel empty somehow.

So this might end up being one of the longest entries I've written.

I feel so confused, like I'm happy, but something feels like it's missing...maybe it's the 2 friends that I've lost this year, or maybe its that boy that I left back home that I can't get out of my head, day or night. Or possibly it could be this amazing guy I know up here at school, this person that I'm completely head-over-heels for. I can't pinpoint what it is, but I know there definitely something missing.

I also need to vent about all the drama that's been going on lately. I don't mind listening to people talk about shit going on in their lives, but when all you do is complain, that's shit I really don't wanna hear. Especially if you're only talk and you're not going to do anything about it. And the shit that's happening between a certain group of friends and another individual, that's kinda messed up. I don't like being put in hard situations. Things are getting so fucking stressful.

I really just can't wait 'till spring break. I'm gonna get to see everyone except the one person I really need to see right now. The one friend who's been with me through thick and thin and has stuck it out through all my tears and bullshit. The one who I used to play football with and also the one who would come to a certain park with me anytime. I can't believe I won't get to see them. Life is kinda shitty right now, not gonna lie.

And to top it off, I'm beat, lol, not something too interesting to finish with, but hey, it's the truth.

Thanks for reading, comment if you'd like, I'll definitely appreciate it.

Peace.

~ Jess

P.S. This joke goes out to a certain boy and girl who mean a lot to me... "Red Bull...gives you wings" lol

ITUNES QUIZ

how many songs?
4,176

sort by song title (first and last):
first: 'Till I Collapse - Eminem/Nate Dogg
last: Zombie Nation - Officer Negative

sort by time (longest and shortest):
longest: Set The Record Straight - MxPx
shortest: The Cross of St. Andrew - Five Iron Frenzy

top five most played songs:
1. Miami - Will Smith
2. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
3. Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
4. The Thong Song - Sisqo
5. Maria Maria - Santana

first song that comes up on shuffle:
The Sign - Ace of Base

find "sex," how many songs come up?
12

find "death," how many songs come up?
5

find "love," how many songs come up?
189

>> Go to your media player and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud and after each one press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.

What do you think of me, itunes?
Popular - "Wicked" (umm, hell yea!)

Will I have a happy life?
Blowin' Me Up - JC Chasez

What do my friends really think of me?
You've Got That Something - Robyn

Do people secretly lust after me?
Dosed - Red Hot Chili Peppers

How can I make myself happy?
Planets of the Universe - Stevie Nicks

What should I do with my life?
Cathedrals - Jump Little Children

Why must life be so full of pain?
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

Will I ever have children?
Nothing Compares to You - Sinead O'Connor

Will I die happy?
Superman (It's Not Easy) - Five For Fighting

Can you give me some advice?
Where My Girls At - 702

What do you think happiness is?
Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani

What's my favorite fetish?
Ironic - Alanis Morissette

So it's been a while since I've updated.

But I'm back, so no worries.

A lot has happened since my last post. Half good and bad.

I'm just gonna talk about recent stuff...

School is good.

Other news...

Thanksgiving break was fabulous! I got to hang out with my Chatham crew and my faves from work and the ones I love from Florham Park. I missed everyone so much!!!! So glad that I got to see my PANDA. Don't know what I'd do without her! And the best part came Friday night when I got a text from my bestest. Even though we only hung out for a little bit, it was amazing. I've missed her sooooo much. She's my other half and it was glorious to be finally back with her. We had fun... wish it was longer, but christmas will be here in a few short weeks. SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!! And my lovers from "ThE pArK"... fabulous! So many laughs... it's like things never changed! I missed my DJ so much!!!!

Yea, so that's it for now. I got back up to Lock Haven a few hours ago, and honestly, I'm pretty tired. Naptime will commence now...!

Ciao my <3's
- j

I MISS MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything works out with all those boys, lol.

Can't wait to visit you!!!!

You know I'm here for you if you need anything! Call me anytime, even if it's just to vent.

You're the best and I <3 you.


It's all good... That was random, but I needed to say it.



Peace out homies -
Jess


p.s. - it's amaaaazziiiiiiiiiiiiiiing... the tally hit 50. oh man...

Wow. It's been over 2 weeks since I've updated.

Alright... to re-cap...

Partying every night, and if there's no party, we just get drunk anyway.

I <3 college and all the people I've met so far.

And there's probably people that I should mention by name, but they know who they are...so far, they are the ones that matter.

AND, I absolutely love all my best from c-town. So many good times. Hope everyone is doing well at school... and by that I mean I hope ya'll are getting crunk.

The tally is up, boys and girls... this weekend it hit 40. (Bistro and Heiney, you know what I'm talking about)

So aside from LHU festivities, I've finally found my teddy bear. He came back to me. I'm pretty sure that my life is now complete. With him in my life now, nothing seems impossible and everyday is better than the one before. He makes me so happy, something I can't put into words. Nostalgia hit me like a flood during the first conversation. Tears poured down and I was without tissues. Not good. Makeup gone bad. But that doesn't matter, because my bear is back for good. I can't wait to visit him...

And now I have to go study for a sociology test. That's right, my 3 hour class. Ugh.

This weekend started out bad, but it is ending quite well.

Friday night I got all ready to go out with the girls, then I started to feel sick. So i decided against going out. Instead I took a really long nap and then spent a long time talking to my best friend on the phone. I love how 30 minutes of bullshit goes by so fast. Our phone bills are going to be outrageous. It's worth it though.

Then later an acquaintance of mine came up to the room so that we could talk. That was a little weird. I hate when people are all nosy and shit. Just because someone walks into my room and forgets to close the door, doesn't mean that you have the right to peek your head in to see who came in. Ugh, I hate nosy people. Then my friend came back to woolridge and stopped by for a few. The person fom before left and then she and I talked for a bit. Then these two guys stopped by from downstairs. Nice kids. Then fast foward an hour or so and my friend is asleep on my roomie's bed. Very funny story with that.

My other friend comes in later saturday morning. We all hang around and then it's time to get ready to go out.

We first stop by this kid's (not mentioning any names) house to pregame, then a bunch of us go down to the track house. Hung out there for a while, then the keg got kicked. So we moved onto the porch. My one friend and D*** were getting close. And my other friend was fighting with some boy, nothing unusual there. So I decide to sit down on the couch next to where my friend and D*** are. Fast foward about an hour, my other friend has left by this time, the other girl and D*** are cuddling, and I've met this guy. Fast foward some more and he and I are at D***'s. Then we decide to leave and go to his place. Then fast foward (I say that phrase too much) some more and he is driving me back to my building. I don't kiss and tell, but let's say he was a perfect gentleman.

So that was long and it was pretty much just blabbering. lol.

I'm out. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

* Leave me comments. Even if they're stupid. :)

~ Jess

Good night with the Bri and Ash. Party at the rugby house across the street. Met so many cool kids. Fun times.

Now I need sleep. 8 a.m. classes suck. Especially when you have a 9 o'clock class tooooo.

So yea, I met the black-eye kid. Such a nice guy. Drunk off his ass, but nice as hell. Definitely a cutie.

Beanie, keep your head up, kiddo. You can do it. I personally think that those dicks don't deserve to be friends with you. I really am not coping well with sharing you anyway. Work on those parental units about cougar weekend. That would be faaaabulous.

major highlights of the night:
spilling beer on Ash
hitting our heads as we go downstairs
black-eye kid
the bitch who dropped the 40 and ran off giggling
the kid calling the cops, haha
losing Bri
grain alcohol, and it being taken away
walking James to Mac
almost falling on the way down the hill
Dane not talking
***** being loud as usual
Ash getting so much beer spilled on her
the rookie with the blue shirt talking shit
tab and her friend
(not mentioning her name...) not coming home
the lesbians

Alright, I'm out. More stuff probably happened. I'll remember it laaater.

- Jess

P.S. - I must tell the world about this kid from Ohio that I think is amazing and he's seriously the coolest fucking kid I know.

It's been a loooong ass day.

Woke up with 10 minutes to get ready and make it to class this morning. Contemplated not going, and I'm not really sure why I didn't just get back into bed. So yea, raced to class only to find out that we're a watching a movie. Hah, just my luck. So I sit through that, and almost fall asleep.

Then Lit. which sucks balls because my teacher is foreign and and idiot. Then chilling back in my room. Then lunch with Bri and Ash. Then another class which sucked also. My music professor is so fucking annoying. Ugh, can't wait until exams. Then back to the room to chill some more. Random stuff, mostly watching t.v. and listening to music. Napping also took place. Then grabbed some dinner and ate back in the room. Then more relaxing. Haha, we're so fucking lazy.

Then fast forward a couple hours to 11:30. B*** and Bri go out to get some stuff. Then getting crunk, although some shit happened, so no one really got past tipsy. It's all good though, because then we can pre-game for tonight. Rugby house. Gonna be fun times. "I need to find myself a boy, a cheater would be ideal," haha.

So now I'm just trying to fall asleep, but as you can tell from the time of this entry, that clearly is not going too well. Class tomorrow at 11, only class of the day. Thank god.

Well, I'm out. Peace out homies.

- Jess

P.S. - The HUSBAND stopped by for a bit. I'm think the Alabama chick is gone. Can't be sure though, he was shit-faced.

So seriously, I think everyone should make a concerted effort to touch base with at least one person who you drifted apart from. I did it. And it was so awesome. Not to mention that I've had a crush on this kid since forever. HAHA.

Anywho, I had that long-ass sociology class tonight. Or, I mean last night since it's like 1 a.m. And I'm starting to find it unbearable. My professor is a whack-job. He gets off topic way too much. I'm so frustrated because we have to sit there for almost 3 hours to begin with, and because he loses his train of thought so often, he makes us stay a few minutes later each class. Ugh, so annoying.

Finally got the situation with that sketchy kid worked out. It was beginning to get a little hectic. But it's all good now. For all those out there that have a huge sense of curiosity, feel free to hit me up if you want the details. Depending on who you are, I'll either let you know what happened or just say no.

I was a little upset that our plans got ruined. But then I got a chance to talk to this kid from Ohio that is so amazing. So it turned out all good.

Alright kids, I'm heading out. 8 a.m. class tomorrow. Ciao.

~ jess

Hey ya'll. I'm back. It's been a loooooong time since I updated.

College = amazing.

First, my roommate is so great. We have a lot in common, something I found out after one week of rooming together. Then there's the girl down the hall, Ash. She's awesome too. We have been chilling a lot lately. It's been all good.

And classes are good. On my way to becoming a teacher. Good stuff.

So of course there has been partying and whatnot. And, once again, drinking has become my favorite hobby. If you can call it a hobby.

I love it. To put it simply, it's so amazing. There are so many places/events to meet people, and so many opportunities for success. I love it.

And the boys are dicks sometimes, but what can you do. There have been a few that I've met that are great, and those are the ones taht I've been hanging out with.

So, yea, I'm out. Check back for updates. I promise the entries will be better in the future.

~ jess